Monday, December 29, 2014

It happened like this.....

Well it is massively late for me to be typing this up and so I’ll probably forget loads of things and you’ll all shout at me for doing such a rubbish job after nagging and harassing and hassling to get the pictures to me as quickly after we got back as possible and I have no real excuse except for being an unreliable sort. I hope you can forgive me. It is just a week since the happy occasion actually happened, which this weekend was celebrating, and that is what prompted me to get myself sorted out and actually edit the pictures and type something up. I am so used to the format of my blog, where I type words to go with pictures, that I have decided to set up this blog page and type this random collection of words to accompany your pictures. And videos. We cannot forget the videos!
 
Here we go... here we go... here we gooo!
Here we go... here we go... here we gooo!
And so, the first picture (thanks to Billy for this one) taken in the taxi on the way up to Edinburgh after we had gathered at the studio and drunk tea and coffee and had a natter. Poor Billy, who’s tummy was not good all weekend; every service station we went past we were in there and he was on the loo. Bless, there is nothing really worse than being stuck in a cab with a bunch of your mates when all you want to do is be sat on the throne and shitting in private. All I can say is fair play for getting out of your sick bed and accompanying us; it wouldn’t have been the same without you. Mainly because no other fucker took ANY pictures in the cab.
 
Just one of about six bedrooms
Just one of about six bedrooms
Only slightly delayed due to Billy’s bottom we were suddenly driving through the ancient streets of Edinburgh, over cobbles and under bridges and past a load of road works and then into a quiet yard where we found the keys and let ourselves into our accommodation. Due to a mix up with the booking company we had been moved from our original flat and I think we came out of it very much on top; we found ourselves just behind the Toll Booth on the Royal Mile and while the location was brilliant it was beaten out by the quality of the house. Spread over three floors were beds and sofas and toilets and showers – plenty of space for everyone and Dan got to have his own room.
 
We happy few....
We happy few....
And so to the group. From left to right (in the arbitrary order of when I came across you all while you were running around the apartment claiming beds and finding the toilets and doing whatever) we have Cjc, Timmyyyyyyyyyy, Billy, Jobbié, Dave, Matt “Fucking” Sellars and Rob. I’m not here because I was taking the pictures and there has to be some benefit to being the one who took the pictures, and gets to type all this up. There’ll be some of me later on though, I promise.
 
Deep in conversation
Deep in conversation
With everyone able to put a name to a bed we spent some time just chilling out in the apartment, drinking beer/whisky/water/Dr Pepper and chattering. There was no feeling of urgency to get out as the initial thought was tonight would be a quiet one and the main night out would be the Saturday. After a little while we figured that sitting around in the flat wasn’t really what we should be doing, being so close to the centre, so we got ourselves together and hit the street.
 
Don't they look LOVELY together!
Don't they look LOVELY together!
First of all we dropped into the pub right by the Toll Booth and had a pint then made our way slowly up the high street. By this time we were all ready for eating something and so very foolishly we took Matt’s advice and went into a café just on the Royal Mile. At first we were quite happy but when the food arrived (and in my case it was not what I had ordered) and then we ate it and found it tasted like arse we commenced to giving Mr Sellars grief as he deserved.
 
Shit food hadn't dampened our spirits
Shit food hadn't dampened our spirits
Notwithstanding Matt’s complete failure to guide us to a suitable eatery we had a good laugh at this place and I would never recommend it to anyone at all. It was getting quite late and a few beers had been drunk by this time so rather than head back for the early night as planned we decided to head on up the hill and find some other bars. This is one thing which Edinburgh seems to have a surfeit of; bars. Our numbers worked in our favour as at least one place we went into the barman asked how many of us were coming and he made it clear that if our group had been bigger and we wouldn’t have been allowed in; this is fair enough as it was quite a nice quiet pub. We weren’t rowdy anyway. Not by this time at least.
 
It's the Lesbian Rickshaw Driver
It's the Lesbian Rickshaw Driver
I for one cannot remember all that much about the evening. I do remember that we got to a bar and myself and Cjc were stood chatting to a couple of girls and then Jobbié came over and introduced himself (though they saw through him immediately and confirmed that his name was “Jobby?”) and then the next thing I realised that I was sat on the sofa with Cjc in the same bar and every other bugger had disappeared. Cheeky sods. Obviously we went to the bar for another pint and the same girls were there and, long story short, we ended up in the back of the Lesbian Rickshaw. This involved her taking us right to the top of the Royal Mile up to the castle (we had to push most of the way which doesn’t seem to be right as we were paying for the “lift”) and then kamikaze-ing her way back down at extreme speeds while swerving towards oncoming traffic and laughing all the way. It was great but I do wonder if we’d still be going if I hadn’t spotted the pub near our digs and said “THIS IS US!” and made her stop. What fun.
 
We aren't hung over. No. Not at all!
We aren't hung over. No. Not at all!
All of this meant that me and Cjc were the last to get back to the apartment on the first night and when we returned we found that kebabs had been bought and that was why we had been deserted. Anyway it was time for bed so off we went and, other than some substantial farts from Matt which woke me up, I slept really well. Cjc was first out of our room (it was me, he and Matt in one room) with his laptop and when I finally dragged my sorry hungover arse out of bed and went downstairs I found that he was sat up with Billy chatting. I made a brew and then Billy went back to bed and shortly other people joined us. It had been a rather more intense night than planned but no one was complaining (other than sore heads). I of course had to go in and raid Jobbié room where he was sleeping and very unimpressed when the flash on my camera went off. Oh well; tough life being the stag.
 
It was as tasty as it looked
It was as tasty as it looked
Breakfast was an individual matter; I’m pretty sure that Timmyyyyyyyyyy and Rob may have gone out to get something from the shop but I wasn’t really paying attention as the only thing my hangover wanted was a dirty greasy fryup so off we went, me and Cjc again, up the road to the Turkish café we had spotted previously. Breakfast was outstanding, served by a lovely Turkish girl and it was a pleasure for me to hear the language again. We were joined by a couple of other people searching for bacon and after a lot of tea I started to feel a semblance of humanity once more.
 
Master Marksman at work
Master Marksman at work
Saturday was the day for the “event” which every stag do has to have. Jobbié had replied, when asked “what do you want to do”, “I want to shoot something” and so we were collected by our friendly driver and driven out across the bridge a way to a rifle range. We were early and had a cuppa in the café while waiting but then were met by a friendly chap who showed us the guns, explained the rules, and let us rip. What a blast and with the time ending with a bit of a competition it was only right that Jobbié should win the overall event having shot Timmy through the head for the bonus points. I want to add that I came second and was awesome.
 
Edinburgh Castle on a bright but windy day
Edinburgh Castle on a bright but windy day
After the shooting we were dropped back at the apartment and had some time to just relax. A few people got their heads down but I went out for a walk around (it was cold and windy, but bright, out) with Cjc up to the castle and then back down round by the back streets where we found a few good art shops and also some whisky places. We were both pretty strong and didn’t buy anything too expensive but it was a good way to pass an hour or two before the next organised stage of the weekend.
 
The man, the legend, the new hat
The man, the legend, the new hat
As Matt had been complaining all the previous night about forgetting to bring a hat I’d found him a lovely tartan cap in a shop up the hill and this was worn with much joy all for the rest of the night. I have it on good authority that it has become the “gardening hat” and is still worn regularly.
 
Just after we had found our additional crew member
Just after we had found our additional crew member
It was now time for the best moment of the whole weekend. We had all been told, before even getting in the cab to come up here, that Jobbié’s dad had managed to fly in to the country in time to get up to join us for the Saturday night. We kept this really quiet and, when it was about time to meet him, got ourselves ready and headed round the corner to the Tollbooth Tavern where he was waiting for us. We all clocked him straight away but Dan (not being on the look out) didn’t and the look in his eyes when he saw his father had managed to get out to join him was totally awesome. What a wonderful surprise!
 
It was curry time
It was curry time
We had a couple of pints there and then decided to try and find somewhere to eat. Sensibly we did not allow Matt to suggest anywhere but went to a curry house that me and Cjc had walked past earlier. It being a Saturday night and us not having made a reservation we were a little concerned that we wouldn’t get a table however we were seated straight away and  what a great choice it was to have made. The food was really nice, served quickly, and it was very tasty. The waiter was happy to take a picture of the group on a phone so here we all are, not blurry and not out of focus for once. You will notice that sadly Billy hadn’t made it out this long but he had been there for the big reveal of Steve and that was great.

After eating it was time to go back to the Tollbooth as Jobbié had noticed that there was karaoke on and there was no way that this man was going to miss his chance to shine. And did he shine! I’ve just watched this back while editing it a bit and had tears in my eyes; especially when he grabs the guitar. This man is made for the stage and I reckon that in twenty years time will be running a karaoke night somewhere and entertaining everyone like he did us a couple of times through the evening. There were other videos but none as good as this one. At one point he even got me up there to sing a song (I can’t remember what it was; can someone comment with the name of it?) but no one was stupid enough to commit that to film.
 
In the awesome nightclub type place thing
In the awesome nightclub type place thing
After we had finished bossing the karaoke (and yes, people did get up and dance a bit later) we said goodbye to Steve and headed towards a bar which Matt had recommended we find. This ended up being a great idea and he was forgiven for the awful food of the day before. I can’t remember the name of this place either but it was right up our street; a rambling maze of strange rooms and corridors with an array of different styles of music represented. There was even a cinema which was screening horror movies which you could go into and relax in. I’ll be finding this place again if I get back up to Edinburgh for sure.
 
In the stocks for being a very naughty boy
In the stocks for being a very naughty boy
While we were exploring we found some stocks and so Timmyyyyyyyyyy volunteered to try them out. There were no rotten vegetables laying around to be thrown at him sadly so we let him out and went on our way. I think I speak for everyone when I say we were actually feeling quite tired by this point and the only problem with this bar was a lack of seating. This was resolved when Jobbié dropped a doozy in the corridor and cleared everyone else out, leaving us with seats to rest our wearies on.
 
Just a few Halloween costumes
Just a few Halloween costumes
After this brilliant club we went next door and ended up in the same place as the previous night of the Lesbian Rickshaw Driver. This evening there was no such excitement, however. The date was getting on for Halloween and the pub was fully decorated to celebrate, as were the patrons. We probably had a couple of pints or so in here but everyone was still tired and so after laughing at Timmyyyyyyy for wearing a scream mask, and then making sure it was returned to above the mantelpiece where he had found it (no thievery for us), we headed back to the apartment and hit the sack. It wasn’t that we didn’t stay out; indeed it was last orders and we were about the last to actually leave that pub, but we hadn’t hit the beer too hard and this was a good thing. It worked out just right.
 
He's a beast!
He's a beast!
The next morning I was once again woken by Matt’s arse shouting and so I abandoned my room and went for a brew. There was more movement earlier this morning as the hangovers weren’t as bad however Halloween was still in evidence with this shocking sight; this picture was from mine however I was not the only one to capture the Sexy Man Beast prowling in search of breakfast.
 
On the way up Arthur's Seat
On the way up Arthur's Seat
Talking of which we went back to the same Turkish restaurant and had more lovely bacon and eggs once everyone was feeling a little more like leaving the house and then we headed towards Arthur’s Seat. We had left it too late to try to get right up to the top and back down before Cjc had a train to catch (Billy and Dave had already gone for theirs as they were on an earlier one, with Steve as it happened) and then we were due for collection by the taxi driver. It was a shame to not achieve the summit but the blast of fresh air blew all the cobwebs away and the views from where we did get to were stunning.


We made our way slowly back to the apartment and then it was time for collecting and then the time was passed and there was no sign of the taxi. With Billy on a train somewhere, and the “emergency contact” number not much use, we were facing another night in Edinburgh, but with no accommodation but eventually it was sorted out and we found that the collection guy (a different driver than we had had all weekend) hadn’t been told that we had changed flats. The journey back was not half as much fun as that going up, particularly as the driver had dreadful taste in music and played awful pop tunes all the way. Those of you on trains you really did make the right choice.
 
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww
And this is why we did it.


What a great time it was, and what a great even the wedding was, and may I add again my best wishes and love to Dan and Ash.